Why there is so much bullshit advice out there to figure out what you should do with your life and how you can change that for yourself

Today I had to do my taxes. It was one of these tasks that were on my todo list for quite some days and I knew that the deadline came closer and closer. I prioritized that task every single day to the top of my list, but at the end of the day, I was highly productive, achieved many important things, but did not do my taxes. What that has to do with the article header? Keep reading and you will soon find out ;)

Doing my taxes stresses me a lot. Not because I have to do the taxes, but because the task itself is draining to me. I know exactly how it works, I know the steps I have to take, I know where to find information, it is all layed out. And still, even though I know that it is simply a matter of sitting down, opening my screen, and going through those steps one by one, it is still a task that I like to procrastinate on big time. And when I finally sit down and do the task, it is highly draining, my mind goes to a thousand different topics it finds more interesting and it is deeply hard for me to concentrate on the task at hand.

Now you could of course say: “Hey, come on, it’s your taxes, no one likes to do their taxes!” That may be true, but I would disagree. There are many people who are working in accounting, finance, and other fields and simply love working with those numbers, the nitty-gritty, figuring out how to best do that task. But that is not me. For that topic and that task, my mental energy, my excitement, and my motivation is quite low.

But there are other tasks, other activities, that I love doing, where other people would say: “Are you kidding me? That is awful!

What are the things you love?

I can write down a whole page of activities that I love doing. I love to learn and experiment and try out new things. I love to create products, insights, presentations, narratives, storylines, speeches, processes, pricing plans, negotiation tactics and more. You can find me sitting in front of a computer and trying to figure out how to design a website or build a tech product and stack it together for hours. I am totally immersed in the task, I work on obstacles with a smile on my face, and I love to figure things out and to creatively solve problems. And even though I am not always motivated, I love to do sports, I would run, ride a bike, do fitness and play tennis. And I would love to write articles, conceptualize, produce videos, books and more. Are these things everyone loves? I highly doubt that.

I recently talked to a friend who said, “I could never produce those videos you produce. Showing myself and speaking there, it is not for me and I need so long to put something together”. And for me writing articles, someone recently said “hoy do you know what to write about? I sit there, stare at that white canvas and have no idea where to start” and another friend said “why do you sit so long in front of a computer, that would make me become crazy!”. I agree, sitting in front of computer screen for all day makes me crazy too. But this is not the point of this article. But something way more important.

Do you see it? We are all different. And we all value different activities. They give us energy. They delight us. Thy let us come alive and let us be excited all day. Or there are those that do the opposite. They take our energy. Thy let us cringe and be stressed and let our braing go into 1000 directions instead of the one we ought to concentrate on. They let us be exhauste afterwards, annoyed and drained.

And then there is one additional activity. The one that makes us uncomfortable, stressed, anxious and fearful, but that also gives us energy, excitement and joyful and proud eyes. These are the level two energy givers. The ones that push us out of our comfort zones, but in a good way. They are the ones that let us grow and be excited about them, but for which we need some time to be brave enough to jump and try them out.

Three Activities. Three Energy Levels. Which one should you pick?

It’s as simple as that. Make sure to add as many of the Level One and Level Two Energy Giving Activities into your daily routine. Daily! Not once a year, or once a month. But daily. What are activities that you can shorten or that you can cut out of your day to do a bit more of these:

• Level One: An activity that simple gives you pleasure, that gives you energy, that excites you, that lets you come alive

• Level Two: An activitiy, that you would love to do, but that at the same time gives you some anxiety, fear and insecurity, mostly because you will do it for the first time

And then do them. And be sure to pick something small. You do not need to pick the huge ones at the beginning, a small activity that brings this excitement forward within you is all you need.

It is always good to start with a simple question:

Is there something I already know that I like so much that it is almost impossible for others to get me away from that activity? And does it pisses me off when a meeting, friends, my spouse, my clients, my colleagues push me away from what I am currently doing?

If there is just one tiny little activity that you like that much, or one activity that you like most, then start with that one. And if you don’t have anoy that comes to your mind? Then take an activity you always wanted to try. But pick one from Level One, not Two. Otherwise you stop earlier than you had the chance to try it out.

And then go with it

Take 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes during your day and focus on only this activity. Do it, enjoy it, get excited. And see how this positive energy will translate to other areas of your life. If you now say “yes, it really does that”, great, keep on going and try to add more time of your day to that activity or another similarly exciting one. If you now say “no, this does not happen”, well, then choose another activity and repeat that process.

Try as long as it takes to figure out what gets you so excited that you do not want to stop. This is one of the things you should give more time in your life and career.

And for all those of you struggling and thinking that you have to come up with the perfect “thing”: Just don’t. This is bullshit. Start small. Here are some ideas:

• I love to solve Killer Sudoku puzzles, so I add 5 minutes of them per day. After I did that for a month, I want to tackle bigger math problems, so I go and look for a challenge online I can do with others, and now, we have some ideas on….

• I love to build flower bouquets, so I decided to watch 5 minutes of videos on how to best do that each day and each Saturday, I would do my own bouquet. I also thought about joining that woman on the market on the weekends and help her out with her craft & doing that for clients of hers…

• I love to organize events. So much so that I decided to take on a job now in an event organization company and we do these huge conferences around the world. So I can not only organize the events but also travel the world. That is so cool, I am so excited about that. …

Start small, win big

You see, it is about starting small. Picking something you love and gives you energy. It should let your energy flow, let you get excited. And this does not need to be one thing, there can be many things that excite you, that give you energy. Meeting friends, doing sports, your work, specific aspects of your work, specific environments. Whatever it is, try to incorporate as much of that into your day. Each day. And then you will see that your days transform into these moments of energy and excitement and that will spill-over to other parts of your daily life as well. So even though you may say starting “Oh, it is just 5 minutes and I am so stressed already, why put another 5 minutes into my calendar with that activitiy, should I not just focus on the work at hand?”, do it anyways. 5 minutes is more than 0. And I think we should all invest as much as possible time in those things that give us energy. And when it gives us energy, it allows us to come alive. And if it does that, let’s listen to that famous quote by Howard Thurman:

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

Think about it. when you come alive, when you are full of positive energy and excitement and immersion, you go through life with so much more energy and joy and fun. But if you are not alive, if you are just dead inside, stressed and exhausted by doing things that are against your own nature, then you will be drained. And that frustration will lead to all sorts of unpleasant aspects within your life, but most directly visible, it will lead to you being unfriendly and grumpy and annoying to the people around you. You will take that negative energy that those activities leave you with and share it with the world. And believe me, we all do not want that to happen. It’s not good for you, for those around you and everyone else.

Thus, follow your energy and excitement and it will you to the things that matter for you.

And why is all that advice bullshit now?

Because there can be as much advice out there as there could be. Thousands and thousands of books. But the only thing you need is yourself. Your intuition, your energy, you listening to yourself. If you figure out that this is the only thing that counts: Figuring out what gives you energy, what makes you proud, what gives you excitement and joy, then you are much more ahead than anyone else and much more content with your own life. You can make it work. So go get out there, and iteratively, figure out what you like.

And one note of caution: don’t fall into that trap of all these books telling you: find your one passion! Passions can change, excitements can change, energy can change. Everythgin can change. If you realize after a while that it is time to move on and there are more, better, more excitement things that bring up your energy and let you get all immersed and internally smily and happy, then take that leap of faith and go with that one. Let your energy choose and follow your path.

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