Why attention and awareness will decide how you live your life and how you can foster them in your day to day
Today I had a conversation with a friend who was telling me that he sometimes grabs his mobile phone out of his pocket and looks at it to then not recalling that he grabbed it and why he got it out of his pocket. There was no reason, no speific intention of why he wanted to get it out. But he did. Because on autopilot he simply grabbed it.
On Autopilot.
How often are we on autopilot during a day? A lot of times. Based on research we spend on average 47% of our daily life on autopilot. That is half of our time where we do things that we do not intentionally plan and where we are not in control of what we are actually doing. That is a lot. We scroll through the newsfeed of our phone, we get the phone out like the friend of mine without recalling why exactly we do that, we numblessly watch hours of movies and we go into shops and out of an urge of social pressure within us buy the latest handbag that is much out of our spending budget.
We are acting on autopilot in our actions, in our behavior and in the way of what we say. We are getting angry and we may simply scream at the other person. It is an immediate reaction that comes out of us and we “just do it”, or we say, “it just happened”. Or we give a snappy response, a shy one or whatever is there that is ingrained and “just happens”.
Being On Autopilot = The Seemingly Easy Way.
Isn’t that nice? We “are as we are”. We can just float and be and don’t care. We can relax. We can numb ourselves. We can somehow function. Life seems easy. It is comfortable. It is relaxing. It is comfy. We can fall down in the warm sheets of our bed cushions and relax and watch how heroes of other stories live their brave and courageous life. We can open the Instagrams and Youtubes and Twitters (or now Xs) of this world and simmer within why dreaming of beautiful islands with white beaches and warm temperatures, getting our backs massaged and our feet pedicured. We are happy. Life feels easy and relaxing and dreamingly beautiful.
And then? I think we can close that chapter here. We found our nice and easy way. The way of living that feels easy and comfortable…..
Until. Until this itchy feeling pops up within our body. The itchy feeling of wondering. Of questioning. Of asking: is that it? is that what I want to do? Is that what I love to do? Is that what I care about? is it enough for me to live life that way?
Often, it is. It does not need more. And often it is sometimes all ok. But sometimes it is not. And the more you you become aware, the more you wish for something else. But hey! Isn’t that comfy? The simmering, the staying in, the watching else? Isn’t that all I asked for? the relaxing normal life? and the voice pops up again. Are you sure? isn’t there something more? Something where I am in charge? Where I can decide whether I want to watch TV or not? Where I decide what I do with my time?
Being On Autopilot — When It Becomes Pain.
This is your time when you become aware. Oh shit, I do that scrolling and watching and doing and thinking on autopilot. Shit. I like scrolling from time to time, and I like watching movies from time to time, but this is not me deciding here right now, this is on autopilot. This is why I spend much more on it. This is why I cannot stop. This is why I do that at times that are completely random. This is why I feel I cannot stop and have to fully immerse. This is me addicted. And this is me doing stuff I don’t like doing. And I want to stop.
In these moments you realize that being on autopilot is not about the activity per se, but it is about the fact that you are not intentionally and clearly deciding for yourself to scroll your phone or watch TV, but it is your autopilot. And the autopilot decides that in a way that is not beneficial for you. It takes much more space for activities that you like to be part of sometimes, but not always. And it stresses you out, as you do not know how to get rid of it. But you realize. The autopilot is pain. But at the same time it is a realization that opens up the chance to reduce that what hinders you to do things you deeply enjoy. Things that you care about and love and want to have more of in your life.
Freeing Yourself From The AutoPilot = Finding Your Awareness
When you are in that state do you realize that you have a sense for you being on autopilot or not. You become aware. you realize that you get the phone out over and over again without knowing why you do that. And you become aware when you are autopilot. You may automatically respond to specific message over and over in the same destructive way and you realize now that this is you on autopilot. You do not think about it, you simply react. and you start to become aware that when you are stressed or do not want to do a task, you automatically go to the fridge and make yourself a big bread slice with cheese. This is your first step. Becoming Aware. The more you do become aware, the more you can change those little freakingly critical moments that take you ratzyfatzy into autopilot mode.
Finding Focus Mode = Grabbing Your Attention Back
It is practice mode. The practice to make sure that you do the opposite of your autopilot: bringing your attention to focus mode. To a mode where you act deliberately and intentionally. A mode where you decide what you focus on and when you do focus on which things. The mode where you are in charge of what you spend time on. It is this mode that you can practice. In all these moments where you realize: oh shit, my autopilot took over again. Instead, you can recognize the moment, stp and breathe, bring your attention back to the activity, conversation, flow, whereever you were, and continue doing exactly that. The more you do that, the more you realize when your autopilot switches on and how you can reverse it’s attention slippery back to the task at hand.
Will htat always be easy? Definitely not. But each time you do it will give you confidence that the next time you will be successful as well. And over time you build that muscle of attention and focus. You will become the ninja of it — strong, resilient and aware of how to get your own focus in place.
Keeping Your Attention And Staying Aware & Focused
And with that focus will you have time and clarity of what you do. You become more present in moments as you are aware and pay full attention. And the more attention you pay, the more you will remember of the moment and the more you will start to enjoy it. And the more you enjoy the more will others feel that too. And the more other feel it to the more positive impact you will have on yourself and others. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more time you spend on autopilot, the more you will catch and excite those that do that too. The more you are aware and and pay attention to things that are meaningful to you and that you deliberately chose for yourself, the more will you attract people, improve your relationships and open up opportunities that were not visible in autopilot. You had no chance to see it, as you were not paying attention.
So pay attention. To those things you care about. Get your attention back when you lost it. And then check in how you did that day and how you can take back and claim some more attention and awareness next day. The more you do that day in and day out, the more you will resent being on autopilot and look for ways to bring your attention to the things that truly matter to you. and if that is something you can achieve, that many more good things will follow. You gained more time back that yo can fill with those things that are important to you.
I hope you liked what you read. If that article resonates with you, I would be delighted for you to share a comment or leave a like.