What is it,
this weird feeling?
Running like crazy in my mind,
not calming down,
not coming to end?
The thoughts they run and run and run,
like never ending spaghettis ranking up the stairs,
like a rabbit in a rabbit hole,
like a hamster in a hamster wheel.
Never do they stop,
always do they run.
From left to right,
from up to down,
from mornings to evenings,
from nights to dawn.
Never do they calm down,
and let me simply do,
no,
they decided,
there is something more they like,
something they desire,
the constant stream of thoughts,
the constant stream of ideas,
the constant stream of newness,
the constant stream of opportunities.
So I simmer in the stages of the unknown,
of the chaos all within,
the chaos that never comes to calmness,
but loves the openness of all.
It is as if committment is the devil,
and one theme,
one theme only,
is too much to stick to,
instead it is the wideness,
and the openness,
that is all too comforting,
and all to exciting.
The options to decide,
the options to start all over,
the options to begin anew,
over and over again.
But is it the options,
that lead me to astray?
Or is it something else,
that keeps me from going all in?
What gets me all out of the pleasant land,
all again,
all over every time?
Is it all the fear of falseness,
the fear of catastrophe,
the fear of disaster,
the fear of it all,
too much,
and all too wrong,
and throwing away the potential,
and running away from elseness?
Or is it something else?
The stream of constant thoughts,
the hungry brain for more,
for more information,
for more insights,
for more knowledge,
for more understanding?
A learning mindset,
through and through,
that this mind is looking for,
a rapid processing,
a processing faster than emotions,
to behold the realness of the thought -
is it really attached to reality?
Or is it falling out of outer space,
running and coming to earth,
with the goal of saying hi,
and to then disapear in the wider room?
But my mind does not want to stop,
calming it down,
and boxing it in,
saying clearly,
“please pass along”,
“please let me go”,
“please do not bother me”,
“and please let loose”,
no,
instead it insists,
insists to stay,
insists to dig deeper,
insists to understand,
insists to make sense,
insists to focus on it.
So long as that the real work is gone,
and the real drive is diverted,
the real understanding lost,
and the real movement layered.
What is happening in these hours of loss,
of distractions,
and thoughts,
running in circles,
and never being still?
How can these thoughts be channeled,
how can they be pushed in one direction?
How can they stay there,
and not move somewhere else?
How can they be grabbed,
and caught,
and brought to order,
and clarity?
How can they be understood,
from the wider circle,
and clearer picture,
and broader mind?
How can they be made sense of?
Or should they better be let lose?
Screening,
Walking,
and Floating in the sea,
the sea of thoughts,
and the sea of the universe.
Floating for themselves,
by themselves,
and simply within themselves.
With no anchor to grasp,
with no hand to touch,
with no neck to claw,
and with no leg to pull back.
So they can fly around in the endless sea,
the sea of the universe,
and turn their rounds,
and be in their own company,
and realize,
its not them,
who run the show,
its not them,
to say where to go.
It’s on them to follow the intuition,
it’s on them to follow the direction,
not the other way round,
not the other way along the line.
Then they can be coming active,
whenever I ask them to come out,
they can become straight and clear,
and focused and real,
real for the moment,
for the immersion,
for the sight of the activity.
Before,
Before it is time,
for them to go back,
back to their place within,
the place that is for them to dance,
for them to find company within,
but to let the driving,
the running,
the dissecting,
the anticipating,
be there for themselves,
but not for me,
for my direction,
for my work,
for my activities.
Then we can better concentrate,
and focus,
and creating,
and doing,
without having to explain ourselves,
and be diverted,
and be distracted.
But to simply create,
and let be,
to simply build,
and let flow,
to simply publish,
and let go,
and to simply innovate,
and let us be the one,
the one,
we are deep within,
if we peel off the layers,
the layers of the past,
the layers of old generations,
the layers of education,
and the layers of all acclaimed gurus.
And to simply be,
simply feel,
simply create,
and simply build.
We become our own,
our own being,
our own creation.
We arrive at ourselves.
And we have just us.
Our whole,
beautiful being.
Nothing more,
and nothing less.
And with that pureness,
with that simply being,
we can go out and explore the world,
we can go out and create in the world,
we can go out and be in the world,
and we can go out and live in this world.