How it feels having written a book in 4 weeks and why it makes me more anxious after the process than before
Four weeks ago, I decided to write a book on Customer Success Management. I wanted to do that since a year ago, but did not do it. I have worked in that industry the last couple of years and I wanted to put all of the content into a book. But well, as time shows, it sounded like such a big endeavour that I did not started. And then, these four weeks ago, several people reached out to to me and said: “I want to write a book on Customer Success” and someone else said “I want to see your raw data” and I was like: “hmm, didn’t I always wanted to write another book and did not even started writing that book a while ago?”. And so I decided, let’s write that book. And as I started with 50 pages already, I guess, that is doable in a week.
That was a big misconception. It took me 8 days for 12–15 hours a day to write the book, then 10 days of editing and translating and then another 10 days to re-do most of the work after I realized that I used a wrong medium to create my book.
Most of my days were spent with that project. I was frustrated, annoyed, unhappy, joyful, hopeful, exhausted, excited, all at the same time and all next to each other. It was an intense four weeks. And I was hopeful of the process and hopeful of the end result.
I had plans during that time, I had goals, things I missed, but I put them aside and focused on writing the book. “I need to get ready before I can enjoy stuff again did I tell mself!”. Did it work? Yes, I was able to concentrate in a way that I am normally not able to do so. I had a clear image in my head of what I wanted to have achieved at the end of January, that gave me much more energy than I thought I had. I was focused, I was able to sustain moments of pain and annoyment and finish the book.
But now?
I felt into a state of uneasiness.
It is as if all I had within, all the goals, the objectives, the ideas, I pressed them down for that project. I planned to sell the book now and market it and I realize that the book is great, I am proud of it, but I am not too excited to selling it now. It is a finished piece of art, a finished piece of work and it is time to create the next books, build the next creative product.
Isn’t that crazy? Someone once told me: “some people are like creators. They create something and then they live by that for the rest of their life. They just know and they just do that one thing. Why are you going the harder way?” And I wonder? Isn’t that weird? I could sell my book now, reach out and share it with everyone. Getting recognition for my work and having people getting value from it. But instead, I am tired, confused and whiny. I lost my focus, my clear direction, since these 12–15 hours of intense working are now empty, waiting to be filled again. But with what?
Is that what we call change?
Is it what we call change? The creative process that is getting disrupted. The waves that we take on? Seth Godin is known for not thinking in careers or jobs, but in projects. I feel like the same. It is project after project that I build my career and life. It is a project that I work on and then the next one comes. But what is the next one? And is there a way to connect them all? So that it is not a project in a wide array of fields, all separate from each other and scattered in time and energy but those that build upon each other and support each other?
What are the next steps?
How to get out of that creative emptiness? The empty space in between two projects, where one is closed and the other one not yet decided upon? Is it the move to New York City that I dreamed about for a long time? Or is it another book? Is it more videos I produce on Youtube again or is it the decision to go back to all things business, Customer Success and more?
I am still thinking about it, still feeling into myself and trying to understand what is going on. What the next project will all be about.
Do you know this? The weird feeling after having finished a project? The emptiness within that does not know how to newly fill time? How do you deal with that? What are your strategies? Would love to learn more about your take on it.